Describe It - Camp Experiences
Learning Objectives:
Level 3
Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
Level 4
Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
Learning goals:
To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
A variety of sentence starters
A variety of sentence lengths
Edit and rework
Effective peer checking and feedback
The sun was boiling out in the dry bushes full of prickles everyone was sweating heavily when someone goes off again 'how long till we get there , he asked in frustration 'only five more minutes and we'll be there the instructor says, those were the most longest most scorching hot five minutes of the trip. Finally the group was there, "here we are the instructor echoed across the valleys, i looked up away from my soggy shoes buried in the hot crystallised dirt full of stones, when we gazed at the most beautiful sight, the crystal green water shined back at our faces, the children smiled they threw their clothes off due to the fact they had togs underneath, sprinting towards the glistening water, children leaped into the pure cold water, h20 bubbles orbed upwards towards the surface still under the water I took soe time to think, how lucky i am.
Student Reflection:
In my writing, one of my goals is to attempt complex punctuation
I did use one of these goals because I used two sentences with complex punctuation
In my writing, one of my goals is to use different sentence beginnings and lengths
I did use this goal in my writing.
My next step is to use paragraphs with a topic sentence and supporting detail.
Teacher Comment: Soph, sounds like it was a long walk! You've used some powerful adjectives in this piece of writing to describe what you experienced. Make sure you use the right structure and layout for the task next time. This was a moment in time.
